adventureic | (no subject)

WHO: Asher Simon & Maya Rutkowski
WHEN: February 23, approximately 12:03am.
WHERE: Asher's apartment
WHAT: Part Two
WARNINGS: Vague references to transformation and possible injury

Asher blinked. As quickly as the forest had formed around him and Maya all those hours ago, it was gone, and this was his apartment. He rubbed his eyes, then cast a defensive spell to check for unknown magics, but it looked like he really was here.

He looked around as if trying to find his bearings again. The woods had not been a welcome excursion for Asher; he spent half the time worried Maya might pick up his scent, and the rest worried something even worse would. Once his phone died, he'd more or less given up trying to connect with anyone who might be around. At least he didn't need a flashlight.

But whatever it was seemed to be over now. He wanted a shower. And sleep, but when didn't he? He wandered for a moment, dazed, trying to make sense of it all. He plugged in his phone. He stripped off his sports coat and glanced again at his arm where Maya's claws had torn through the fabric so smoothly he didn't even notice until he'd bolted away.

He was studying his arm again, still, when there was a knock at his apartment door. He answered warily, turning his body so his exposed arm faced away from whoever would be on the other side.

In front of his apartment door Maya was wringing her hands, anxious about Asher, as she had been most of the last twenty four hours. Theoretically, having a whole day for her to feel what it was like to be in wolf form and to actually keep her mind should have been a good exercise in understanding what it felt like, a guide to what she should concentrate on during her actual transformations. But those thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind as her main concern right now was whether or not she had actually scratched Asher.

“I am so sorry,” she said in lieu of a greeting. Her voice sounded rough even to her own ears from some combination of lack of use for a whole day and overuse from howling in her wolf form.

The swell of emotions that arose at the sight of her (residual fear, wariness, relief …) played across Asher's features before he landed on the last one. "Fuck," he breathed. "Are you okay?"

He leaned against the door and did not open it further to invite her in. What if it all happened again?

Maya watched the play of emotions on his face, unsure of what was going through his mind. “Yea.” She nodded her head. “That… shouldn’t have happened. But it wasn’t any more painful than my usual transformation.” She looked away not willing to see any recoil he might have about the memory of what she looked like when she was transforming. Ugly and disgusting is what she’d always assumed to match the pain she felt.

“Anyhow…” She waved her hands to dismiss the conversation about her. Then, realizing her hands were very much the reason she was here, she immediately shoved them into her pockets. “I, uh, am here because I wanted to check on you and, uh, more specifically your arm.” She shifted from one foot to the other, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. ”I might have, I really hope not, but I might have scratched you.”

"You didn't," Asher said so firmly and so quickly it was almost like he was trying to convince himself, too. He'd checked. Of course he'd checked, all throughout the day just to be sure. Except there was that one small place on the back of his arm he couldn't see, no matter how he wrenched his shoulder.

But that didn't mean he wanted Maya inspecting it. He clocked her move to pocket her hands--for his comfort or safety, maybe, but what it did was remind him and bring him right back to the moment he'd seen her transform and ordered him away. For his own good, if it wasn't already too late. "I'm fine."

The firmness filled Maya with even more unease. If she’d known that her scratches had been from a werewolf would she have gone through an immediate phase of denial about where the scratch had come from? If it has been someone she knew accidentally transforming would she have assured them nothing happened?

“Asher,” she tried to speak as gently as possible. “The full moon is on Saturday if I scratched you-“ She winced as her voice broke, knowing this was her responsibility to bear for turning someone. “If I scratched you, you’re going to transform.”

"I understand how it works," Asher insisted curtly. A small part of him knew how difficult this must be for her, but it was drowned out and pushed away by his own needs just then. His need to be fine. His need to keep distance between them, to keep himself safe.

His need to keep his own secrets. He'd been so good about it this far, keeping the evidence of his curse covered and hidden away even at the cost of ever letting someone get close to him. He did not want to have to explain. He did not want to admit. And he did not want to hear the pity or concern or questions or disgust or whatever else might come along with it. It was his business, no one else's.

"You didn't break any skin. I would know if you did. I'm fine."

Maya could practically see the imaginary line being drawn between them. It was clear that she wasn’t welcome to touch him, she wasn’t going to be able to convince him that she needed to see his arm.

She looked down at the ground, trying to think of what to do. Maya never felt confident without seeing the evidence for herself. It was Bracken’s voice in her head telling her that that was her human thinking that relied heavily on sight. Her transformation got the two of them into this mess and it would have to be her enhanced scent that got her the confidence she needed.

Maya took the smallest step forward, hoping he wouldn’t jump back too far, and breathed in deeply.

Asher's body moved him back before his conscious mind even made sense of what was happening. "What are you … Maya …" She was smelling him, he realized. She did not believe him, and she wasn't going to believe him, and she would spend the next days worried and trying to figure it out, and maybe even get the rest of their not-pack involved, too. It would be more scrutiny, not less.

And he could at least put her mind at ease, and maybe his own as well. Because he wasn't scratched. Unless he was.

"What's it going to take for you to believe I'm okay?"

Even though she was expecting the recoil, there was still a twist in her gut to see it happen. At least he still smelled like the Asher she’d sensed after her run. The only problem being that she didn’t know if the smell that accompanied wolves was immediate or something that appeared after your first shift.

“You don’t smell like a wolf. I’m pretty sure that’s a good sign. I’d really like to see your arm.” She paused, then rushed to add. “I won’t touch you. I promise. I’ll keep my distance if you just show me and we don’t see any break in the skin then we can be as confident as possible that I haven’t… changed you.”

Asher let out a slow breath. The weirder he was about the markings on his skin, the more suspicious they would look. Probably. Maybe. But either way, someone would have to check and make sure he was safe, and it may as well be Maya.

A part of him didn't want an answer. He would know soon enough anyway, and if he was … at least he could have one last day of normal.

"Listen, before…" Asher started, but he couldn't put words to what he didn't want to say. Instead, he said, "I know this was an accident. I know it wasn't … Just, whatever this is. I know you didn't mean for this to happen." It would be easier for him to keep thinking that if he turned out to be fine. When.

Slowly, he turned his body to expose his arm, tugging down on the severed sleeve to give Maya a better look and doubly afraid of what she might say next.

She didn’t know how to respond to his attempt of assuring her that he knew it was an accident. Maya didn’t think she’d be able to really forgive herself if she’d turned him. And, based on her own feelings about the werewolf that had turned her, she doubted he’d be able to keep his word for very long if he’d been turned.

Relief filled Maya at the sight of an actual tattoo, as had been her first thought, before all of her anxieties of ‘what if’s’ had plagued her. True to her word, she kept her hands in her pockets, just moving around to get a different angle. Upon closer and longer inspection she realized the vine was more of a script or maybe runes, but nothing that Maya was familiar with. She assumed it had to be some kind of wizard thing like the tattoos on Broderick’s forearms.

“Can you turn a little more so I can see the back of your arm?” She asked.

Asher moved further. His body was tense, especially now with his back mostly toward her. He wouldn't be able to see if she turned again. But still, he said, "If you need to … like, if the sleeve's in the way or anything, you can …"

“I won’t,” Maya refused. She knew the difference between how tense his body was now versus when she’d checked him out after the hydra mission. He’d seemed tense at the time, unwilling to roll his sleeves up very far, but this was different, she wasn’t going to push her luck on getting him to agree to this inspection. “Just pull the sleeve up a little with your hand.”

He nodded and repositioned his hand to tug the torn sleeve out of the way. It was only seconds, but this may have been the longest he'd let anyone he knew -- anyone he considered a friend, anyone who would be in his life beyond this -- see the winding curse markings across his skin. It was all he could see when he looked at himself. (Well, until he started glowing, at least.) It was all he could imagine anyone else seeing. He had to acknowledge it, divert from it. "Don't worry about … the rest of it there. It's not related."

“The tattoo?” Maya asked, a little confused as to why he was mentioning it. “Yea, I know that I didn’t do that.”

She may have taken a little longer than strictly necessary, wanting to make double and then triple check there was no evidence of a scratch. “I think we’re safe,” she declared, suddenly feeling much less tense. Maya took a step back, still expecting that Asher would want his space from her. “It looks like I just ruined your jacket. I’ll get you a new one after the moon.”

Asher thought he'd feel relief, but instead a new truth set in, that until they got through the next full moon, he would be on edge, waiting. "No, don't worry about that," he said, eager for the interaction to end. He pulled his shoulder back and let the distance sit between them. He knew it was an accident, but it still happened, and it could happen again. "Go get some sleep, or whatever you need to do before a real full moon." He moved to close the door. "I'll see you after."

Maya nodded, watching the door close, feeling like there was some kind of finality to that act. She hoped that it was the pull of the moon was making it feel more significant than it was and that she hadn’t just really screwed everything up with Asher.