BACKDATED: posted friday at the end of speed dating

[geminids]

[BRODERICK, during/after this; this should be a text but i'm too lazy to format it that way bc i'll be on mobile later.]

NO

[BRIAR, also during the above & w/ the same format caveat]

fuck you stop we cant be a pack if you fuckin kill me

[PUBLIC, at the end of speed dating]

who found love
who found lust
tell me all of it

Comments

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[abracadavers]

Trapper is your ex.

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[geminids]

mightve smooched a time or 2

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[abracadavers]

I see. Charming was he?

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[geminids]

mightve swapped bjs behind a horse trailer or 6

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[abracadavers]

Wow, sounds like peak romance.

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[geminids]

oh yeah like all of your teen deals starred tom hanks n fuckin meg ryan

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[abracadavers]

Obviously they starred Harrison Ford.
[...]
How long were you two together?

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[geminids]

idk

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[abracadavers]

Why are being cagey about this? We all have exes.

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[geminids]

[...]
dont get mad
n dont make it weird neither
but yall make a pretty table

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[abracadavers]

You can't be serious.

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[geminids]

its me
no shit i am
deadly

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[abracadavers]

Do you have unresolved feelings for him still or something? Maybe the table will be prettier if you're sitting in my place.

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[geminids]

everybodys got a lil somethin left over for like their first good
just pull me up another chair
a
third

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[abracadavers]

First
I didn't even want to be h
Y

Sure. Maybe I can hear more about teenage Bracken.

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[geminids]

upped my bj game since then
[...] all my games
and my game game

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[abracadavers]

Not really the conversation topic I want to hear about. But good to know.

Trapper.

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[geminids]

thats my talkin point
what about him

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[abracadavers]

Can't say the blowjobs you and your first boyfriend you still have a little something for, gave eachother is my favourite talking point. How about you try another.

Nothing, just reconsidering my initial impressions.

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[geminids]

its a nothing kinda lil something
i was a roper
he was a steer wrestler
what more can i say 🎶

[...] what were they

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[abracadavers]

You know Taylor Swift is just going to make me more irritated.

That he has a stupid name but excellent opinions on books, and it was nice talking to someone passionate about what he does when I didn't want to be here in the first place. But now he's your first boyfriend.

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[geminids]

thats avril you fuckin degen were in canada get with the program

yeah my first but youre my last so you shouldnt give a fuck
like sure he got hotter but mostly he got hotter in the way where if you aint there i dont give a shit
[...] ok i give a tiny lil shit but thats only cause im a romantic who apparently goes for huge fuckin nerds

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[abracadavers]

Who the fuck is Avr

[...] (after dropping his phone)

I'm your last?

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[geminids]

what

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[abracadavers]

Bracken. Was that a typo?