(no subject)

[abracadavers]

Has anyone heard of Merlinnials (Millenials4Merlin.geocities.org)? Apparently some fuckwit charlatan claims he's Merlin reincarnated and has been performing magical "miracles" for all his followers.

The Society for Merlin reached out to me after they couldn't get a hold of [...] Bonaventure. They've asked for our help.

[Attached is a copy of a pamphlet screaming early 2000s emo/alt rock in red white and black, encouraging supernaturals and humans looking to be saved by magic to join their cult group]

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]

Briar and Cinder had a good thought about whether Scantlebury has been acting alone in the disappearances. It may mean nothing, but I pulled a few records from the archives and Jameson Standards, Yana Getgood, and Hippolyta Pottebaum have all been here since the first iteration. At the very least, they must know something.

[ASHER]

We shouldn't leave this unfinished business with Dorr too much longer, especially given everything that's going on.

Comments

[geminids]

they sound like a good time.

[abracadavers]

Are you even a millennial?

[geminids]

on the cusp. which makes me [...] more [...] wise. and whatever.

[abracadavers]

Well sounds like you're the perfect candidate for cult leader.

[geminids]

we already proved that wrong when i got fired from my last post, remember.

[abracadavers]

He was threatened, you're basically a werewolf Tom Cruise.

[geminids]

[...] what's that even MEAN, he's tiny. and weird.

[abracadavers]

You just answered your own question.

[geminids]

scientology weird's a whole nother universe from loner weird.

[abracadavers]

I really thought you'd take issue with the "tiny" bit. Interesting.

[geminids]

i've seen bald spots since i was like 13 i ain't worried about that

[abracadavers]

[...] Not me though, right?

[geminids]

why would i be reassuring when you're trying to get me worked up.

[abracadavers]

Bracken.

[geminids]

you compared me to TOM CRUISE

[abracadavers]

He's handsome! Idiot. That's all I meant by it. Obviously you're not that deranged or short, brainwashed by Xenu, or problematic. I take it back!

[geminids]

if you really wanted to say that you 'dve compared me to springsteen.

[abracadavers]

Bruce Springsteen isn't involved in any cults.

[geminids]

one guy's cigar club's another's cult.

[abracadavers]

That bandana is purely for sweat purposes, sometimes aesthetic, and possibly flagging in young Broderick's wildest dreams. Don't besmirch his good name, dickhead.

[geminids]

cool it, lil bo peep.

[abracadavers]

Oh because that's a good way of getting me to calm down.

[geminids]

just feels like you're fighting the wrong fight. i was kidding around.

[abracadavers]

Confirm that I don't have a bald spot then!

[geminids]

all of the hair you've got's real nice hair.