(no subject)

[abracadavers]

Has anyone heard of Merlinnials (Millenials4Merlin.geocities.org)? Apparently some fuckwit charlatan claims he's Merlin reincarnated and has been performing magical "miracles" for all his followers.

The Society for Merlin reached out to me after they couldn't get a hold of [...] Bonaventure. They've asked for our help.

[Attached is a copy of a pamphlet screaming early 2000s emo/alt rock in red white and black, encouraging supernaturals and humans looking to be saved by magic to join their cult group]

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]

Briar and Cinder had a good thought about whether Scantlebury has been acting alone in the disappearances. It may mean nothing, but I pulled a few records from the archives and Jameson Standards, Yana Getgood, and Hippolyta Pottebaum have all been here since the first iteration. At the very least, they must know something.

[ASHER]

We shouldn't leave this unfinished business with Dorr too much longer, especially given everything that's going on.

Comments

[wizardjr]

Amazing. What if they try to make you their leader?

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]
Hmm, I wonder if our Victorian friends remember anything about them?

Da Bonaventure was working under Jameson when he went missing.

[abracadavers]

Not bloody likely.

[NPEM]
Have they been able to remember much at all?

And it's not like he bothered reporting his missing employee.

[wizardjr]

You do have the best beard out of all of us Bests.

[NPEM]
They remember each other. And they're wary of Cadmus. They want to come exploring with us.

That's true. I thought maybe he didn't because he was just hoping he wouldn't come back, but maybe you're onto something.

[werewho]

[...] That means Merlin is real?

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]
Which also means they might be very suspicious of us asking any questions.

[abracadavers]

The Society [...] and our family maintain he's dead, since I'm sure him being alive would really muck up Bonaventure's claim as a descendent. Regardless, this clown isn't the reincarnation of anyone but a quack. His following is growing, there are chapters popping up across Canada.

[NPEM]
True. So then there's snooping.

[werewho]

Oh no how did I miss that you are supposed to be related to Merlin??

Merlinnials is a pretty good name so I can see how people could get wrapped up into it.

[NPEM]
Snooping it is. Maybe we need to look at employee records and try to find anyone who isn't currently in management but also isn't missing.

[geminids]

they sound like a good time.

[abracadavers]

Are you even a millennial?

[geminids]

on the cusp. which makes me [...] more [...] wise. and whatever.

[eldith]

Yes. They slide into my DMs once because they needed "dwarf energy".

[abracadavers]

Christ. I don't suppose you've ever taken them up on that request?

[eldith]

No. I'm not into wizard sex cults, no offense.

[cursorily]

Surely there's a less roundabout way to tell us all you're secretly Merlin, Broderick.


Broderick.
Okay. What are our options, realistically?

[abracadavers]

You caught me, I'm my own great-great-great grandfather. It's a medieval Back to the Future.

[Asher]
We need to hold that seance, I won't have a good idea of whether more...aggressive methods are needed to banish her, or if this can be solved through a proper conversation, until we do. Proper in that I'm going to let her briefly possess me again.

[cursorily]

Reincarnation's easier when you follow the family line, I've heard.

[Broderick]
I understand that's a necessary part of it, but I really don't like it.

NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT

[trylla]

Okay if he is doing something it's definitely not alone but like ............... I'm still not convinced all the new old people are on the up and up????

NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT

[abracadavers]

Baudelaire seemed pretty distraught over their disappearance, but I suppose that information about them being double agents (so to speak) can't be taken at face value necessarily.

NPEM

[horseboi]

Oh, they all have terrible vibes. Not surprised.

NPEM

[abracadavers]

Is one worse than the others?

NPEM

[geminids]

what were they doin for the middle hundred years

NPEM

[abracadavers]

Great question, I'm going to check and see if there are more record of them in the archives in those years. Will check public records too in case they were employed elsewhere.

[osmotheque]

I do rather like his fire guitar. Though it does seem a little impractical, musically speaking.

[NPEM]
Full offense intended, but Mr. Scantlebury does not seem like the type to be acting alone in most anything, considering his propensity toward making you retrieve his food for him like a vastly overqualified gofer. Unless, of course, that is also part of a larger grift. In which case, hats off to an Oscar-worthy performance.

[abracadavers]

He probably uses it to air guitar to Green Day.

[NPEM]
Full offense, woah there. Agreed, I just don't see how he could pull off faking this kind of reckless idiocy and I'd still like the opportunity to tell him where he can shove those chicken mcnuggets.

NPEM

[arietids]

Not surprised to see Yana on that list at all.

[...] I caught Bonaventure's scent yesterday. The trail dead-ended in the building, but we found his scarf.

NPEM

[abracadavers]

No, she definitely has the most access while also being able to slip under the radar as his overworked assistant.

Did you. And it was [...] in tact?