adventureic | (no subject)

Has anyone heard of Merlinnials (Millenials4Merlin.geocities.org)? Apparently some ~~fuckwit~~ charlatan claims he's Merlin reincarnated and has been performing magical "miracles" for all his followers.

The Society for Merlin reached out to me after they couldn't get a hold of [...] Bonaventure. They've asked for our help.

[Attached is a copy of a pamphlet screaming early 2000s emo/alt rock in red white and black, encouraging supernaturals and humans looking to be saved by magic to join their ~~cult~~ group]

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]

Briar and Cinder had a good thought about whether Scantlebury has been acting alone in the disappearances. It may mean nothing, but I pulled a few records from the archives and Jameson Standards, Yana Getgood, and Hippolyta Pottebaum have all been here since the first iteration. At the very least, they must know something.

[ASHER]

We shouldn't leave this unfinished business with Dorr too much longer, especially given everything that's going on.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Amazing. What if they try to make you their leader?

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]
Hmm, I wonder if our Victorian friends remember anything about them?

Da Bonaventure was working under Jameson when he went missing.

[...] That means Merlin is real?

[NON PROBABLY-EVIL-MANAGEMENT]
Which also means they might be very suspicious of us asking any questions.

they sound like a good time.

Yes. They slide into my DMs once because they needed "dwarf energy".

Surely there's a less roundabout way to tell us all you're secretly Merlin, Broderick.

Broderick.
Okay. What are our options, realistically?

Okay if he is doing something it's definitely not alone but like ............... I'm still not convinced all the new old people are on the up and up????

Not bloody likely.

[NPEM]
Have they been able to remember much at all?

And it's not like he bothered reporting his missing employee.

The Society [...] and our family maintain he's dead, since I'm sure him being alive would really muck up Bonaventure's claim as a descendent. Regardless, this clown isn't the reincarnation of anyone but a quack. His following is growing, there are chapters popping up across Canada.

[NPEM]
True. So then there's snooping.

Are you even a millennial?

You do have the best beard out of all of us Bests.

[NPEM]
They remember each other. And they're wary of Cadmus. They want to come exploring with us.

That's true. I thought maybe he didn't because he was just hoping he wouldn't come back, but maybe you're onto something.

Christ. I don't suppose you've ever taken them up on that request?

You caught me, I'm my own great-great-great grandfather. It's a medieval Back to the Future.

[Asher]
We need to hold that seance, I won't have a good idea of whether more...aggressive methods are needed to banish her, or if this can be solved through a proper conversation, until we do. Proper in that I'm going to let her briefly possess me again.

Oh no how did I miss that you are supposed to be related to Merlin??

Merlinnials is a pretty good name so I can see how people could get wrapped up into it.

[NPEM]
Snooping it is. Maybe we need to look at employee records and try to find anyone who isn't currently in management but also isn't missing.

Baudelaire seemed pretty distraught over their disappearance, but I suppose that information about them being double agents (so to speak) can't be taken at face value necessarily.

on the cusp. which makes me [...] more [...] wise. and whatever.

No. I'm not into wizard sex cults, no offense.

That's our claim to fame. Bonaventure made sure of it and never shuts up about it, has convinced the Society protecting Merlin's legacy to buy into it too. Hence the summons.

Well then you'll love their leader's name: Merl Innis. The Society for Merlin says that Merl has been taking advantage of Section 365 of the Canadian Criminal Code being repealed.

[NPEM]
I'll look to Sharona for any current employee records. I'm going to continue to have a look in the archives in case we can determine any other linkages to them and the missing - I do think we need to speak with Baudelaire.

Edited 2024-04-01 20:44 (UTC)

So naturally, I should be a cult leader. I've been wasting my time in academia.

[NPEM]
I think Cinder's concern about whether they themselves are trustworthy is valid. Let's bring them with us, but be wary.

Honestly, I can't fault him that.

How likely is it that it's true?

Yea, he definitely changed his name for this. How does one go about defeating a fake Merlin?

[NPEM]
She'll be back from her HR training today so it's good timing. I think she has Baudelaire's contact info too.

Some people might consider academia to be a cult.

[NPEM]
Oh, true. But what reason would they have to lie?

Too bad he didn't have the sense to go home for his little hissy fit.

Well sounds like you're the perfect candidate for cult leader.

Oh, they all have terrible vibes. Not surprised.

To be clear, we don't know if they're a sex cult. Although I did look into the next live "miracle" and it appears to be on a beach where "invisibility cloaks" will be handed out as party favours.

Is one worse than the others?

Is that when we're going? Will we have to be nude?

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